Question #126

Do you have any information on dating non-Christians?

Do you have any sermons, materials, etc on dating non-Christians, influence & one’s reputation.

The Answer:

There is no direct prohibition against a Christian’s dating or marrying a non-Christian. Since dating often leads to marriage, if one wishes to marry only a Christian wisdom dictates that only Christians be dated.

The passage most often used to teach that Christians cannot marry a non-Christian is 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. This passage does not mention marriage and it is not in an immediate context involving marriage. That, however, does not mean that it does not apply to marriage since marriage is certainly a “yoking” together. There are some questions, however, based upon passages that do have an immediate context of marriage, one of which is in the first letter to the same church, 1 Corinthians 7:12-13. Here Paul deals with Christians married to unbelievers and says that if the unbeliever is willing to remain married then the believer should not put the unbeliever away. Why would God forbid such marriage on the one hand and yet permit such a marriage to continue? The only answer that comes to mind is that the marriage addressed in 1 Corinthians was established before the conversion of either party and God permitted it to continue because of the sanctity of the home. This is reasonable since breaking up a marriage might lead to adultery through remarriage which God did not permit in the absence of fornication. If the unbeliever did not wish to remain married to the believer, God did not require that the marriage be maintained. 1 Cor. 7:15. [Note: this passage is sometimes referred to as the “Pauline Privilege” and urged as a basis for divorce and remarriage in the absence of fornication. A refutation of this false doctrine may be found in the Class Notes for Lessons 10 and 11 on 1 Corinthians on this website.]

For a discussion of 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 see class notes for Lesson 12 on 2 Corinthians on this website. As stated there, this passage may apply to marriage and is certainly broad enough to include marriage; however, given other Biblical considerations it is not an issue that should be bound.

That said, there still remains the issue of what is wise. Who can reasonably deny that it is better (wiser) for a Christian to wed (and thus date) a faithful Christian? This is not to suggest that all marriages to members of the Lord’s church are “sure things.” There have been too many bad experiences where Christian married Christian to believe that such a marriage cannot be a mistake. On the other hand, who can reasonably deny that such a marriage at least increases the odds?

Years ago the author of this answer preached for a rural congregation in Tennessee that had three Godly elders. Each of them had married a good Christian girl, was converted, and grew in the Lord.