Question #392

Please explain Ephesians 5:22-28.

I would like to inquire about the Scripture Eph 5:22-28. I have read many of the questions and answers concerning adultery and immoral sexual. I hear many men say that they leave their wives because they do not submit enough sexually. I have heard and witnessed this also from some women. But my question is, when Paul states such is he speaking of sexual activity? I read at the end of Eph 5:22 “as unto the Lord” and I really don’t understand. Is it not true that we battle against certain desires because they are of the flesh? To often I have heard spoken by men and women “I have a high sex drive and I am going to be satisfied one way or another” and they use the scripture to justify the rightness of this. Am I missing something?

The Answer:

This aspect of marriage has not been addressed. However, the question is loaded by the expressions “many men say” and “I have heard spoken by men and women.” Frankly, such comments are most likely rarely made. Moreover, a man or woman who is inclined to such conduct is rarely going to seek to justify it by scripture. To the extent, however, that such instances exist, neither Eph. 5:22-28 nor any other passage justifies such conduct. The closest passage that even approaches the subject is 1 Cor. 7:1-5. The passage clearly teaches that the husband is to consider the wife and the wife is to consider the husband in proper sexual relationship. It does not teach that the wife may demand of the husband or that the husband may demand of the wife sexual activities that are abnormal. Indeed, the entire passage teaches mutual consideration and condemns unilateral withholding of sex by either, thereby depriving one’s mate of that which is her or his due. To seek what one desires outside the marriage because one’s mate finds the act demanded to be unpleasing is fornication and sinful. It is also sinful to withhold intercourse from one’s mate since marriage is to accomplish the satisfaction of the sexual desire. However, even that does not justify the aggrieved mate’s seeking satisfaction outside of the marriage. That is still fornication and sinful.