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Question #214

Is a single person free to marry after having had an illicit affair with a married person?

If a single person commits adultery with a married person, both people (single and married) are guilty of adultery. If the married person makes things right with their spouse, is the single person free to marry?

The Answer:

Questions 213 and 214 are partially answered in the response to Question 171. Additional comments are:

  1. Question 213 asks whether a person whose first marriage was unscriptural can, after extricating himself/herself from the unscriptural marriage by divorce, is scripturally eligible to marry. The quick answer is “no.” The fact that the first marriage was unscriptural does not mean that the relationship was not a marriage. In the facts given, the marriage ended for reasons other than fornication. Therefore, neither of the parties is scripturally eligible to marry.

  2. Question 214 is fully answered in Question 171. A single person cannot meet the first requirement for adultery to occur since there is no marriage to adulterate. The married party to the illicit relationship has defiled the marriage bed, Heb. 13:4, but adultery has not yet occurred. Again, adultery occurs when 1) there is a marriage, 2) there is a putting away for a reason other than fornication, and 3) there is a second marriage.

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Where the marriage bed has been defiled followed by divorce, the innocent party may scripturally remarry, the guilty party may not scripturally remarry. There is no adultery unless the guilty party remarries.

Where the marriage bed has been defiled and the parties reconcile there is no adultery because there has been neither putting away even for fornication and there has been no remarriage.

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God's Plan of Salvation

You must hear the gospel and then understand and recognize that you are lost without Jesus Christ no matter who you are and no matter what your background is. The Bible tells us that "all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) Before you can be saved, you must understand that you are lost and that the only way to be saved is by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ. (2 Thessalonians 1:8) Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6) "Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." (Acts 4:12) "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (Romans 10:17)

You must believe and have faith in God because "without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." (Hebrews 11:6) But neither belief alone nor faith alone is sufficient to save. (James 2:19; James 2:24; Matthew 7:21)

You must repent of your sins. (Acts 3:19) But repentance alone is not enough. The so-called "Sinner's Prayer" that you hear so much about today from denominational preachers does not appear anywhere in the Bible. Indeed, nowhere in the Bible was anyone ever told to pray the "Sinner's Prayer" to be saved. By contrast, there are numerous examples showing that prayer alone does not save. Saul, for example, prayed following his meeting with Jesus on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:11), but Saul was still in his sins when Ananias met him three days later (Acts 22:16). Cornelius prayed to God always, and yet there was something else he needed to do to be saved (Acts 10:2, 6, 33, 48). If prayer alone did not save Saul or Cornelius, prayer alone will not save you. You must obey the gospel. (2 Thess. 1:8)

You must confess that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. (Romans 10:9-10) Note that you do NOT need to make Jesus "Lord of your life." Why? Because Jesus is already Lord of your life whether or not you have obeyed his gospel. Indeed, we obey him, not to make him Lord, but because he already is Lord. (Acts 2:36) Also, no one in the Bible was ever told to just "accept Jesus as your personal savior." We must confess that Jesus is the Son of God, but, as with faith and repentance, confession alone does not save. (Matthew 7:21)

Having believed, repented, and confessed that Jesus is the Son of God, you must be baptized for the remission of your sins. (Acts 2:38) It is at this point (and not before) that your sins are forgiven. (Acts 22:16) It is impossible to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ without teaching the absolute necessity of baptism for salvation. (Acts 8:35-36; Romans 6:3-4; 1 Peter 3:21) Anyone who responds to the question in Acts 2:37 with an answer that contradicts Acts 2:38 is NOT proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ!

Once you are saved, God adds you to his church and writes your name in the Book of Life. (Acts 2:47; Philippians 4:3) To continue in God's grace, you must continue to serve God faithfully until death. Unless they remain faithful, those who are in God's grace will fall from grace, and those whose names are in the Book of Life will have their names blotted out of that book. (Revelation 2:10; Revelation 3:5; Galatians 5:4)